Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Enti Toluk!!

So a few days ago, I was watching an Egyptian movie and, although I understood virtually nothing that the characters said, the plot was pretty apparent. A woman was going to dance lessons behind her husband's back because she didn't think he'd approve. Sure enough, when he found out, he surely didn't approve. There were several scenes of arguing and yelling, until at one point, he pointed at her and yelled "Enti toluk!!", the woman's eyes grew wide as saucers, the music took a dramatic turn, and the next scene showed her sobbing on the subway. I knew Enti meant "You" so I thought maybe toluk was some sort of slur. He must have called her a floozy or worse. I made a mental note to ask someone what in the world he said!!

When I asked my friend Dina she told me that Enti Toluk means "You are divorced". When a man wishes to divorce his wife, he does not need to go through a court of law, but only says "Enti toluk" three times to formally end his marriage according to the guidelines set out in the Quran. And, according to Dina, he can rescind his decision until he says "Enti toluk" for the third time. At that point, it is final. Women were not allowed to divorce their husbands until a new ruling in 2000. Today, they are allowed to file a divorce without their husband's permission but they give up all financial rights.

Last year, a woman was seeking clarification from the court on her husband's declaration of divorce. He had texted her on her cellphone twice declaring "Enti Toluk" and then later that year, after an argument, he had said it again face to face. The court was trying to decide whether text messages count. I wasn't able to find out how the court ruled, but apparently text-message divorces have been upheld in other countries such as Saudi Arabia and Bahrain.

The movie ended on a happier note. The husband started taking dancing lessons with his wife and they lived happily ever after....provided he doesn't say "Enti toluk" two more times, of course.

2 comments:

Ingird Ebert said...

Dear Wendi,

very interesting! Firstly, I learned two new words: 'slur' and 'floozie'.
Secondly, it's amazing how modern technology blends in so neatly with ancient divorce rituals. This truly could be basis for some research on how technology changes or blends in with traditions and social interaction.
Reminds me also of a sex and the city episode where ´Carry gets dumped via post-it note.

LG
INgrid

Krista said...

I believe there was a Native American tribe where if the woman wanted a "divorce" she just put the guy's moccasins outside. Saves lawyer fees.